William pointed out to me that, although he's officially got the "words blog", and mine is the "pictures blog"....since i'm the one at home all day in my domestic bliss/turmoil, i'm the one with the day to day stories. So i suppose i ought to do some words too ;-).
We've certainly found, over the last few months, that doing the 3 year spacing with the kids has made it much easier than a 2 year spacing would be. Iain doesn't seem to be jealous of Ria, really at all. He's disappointed when i have to carry her for a nap, rather than her napping in her bed, as i can't be physical with him....but he waits paitently when i have to nurse her, he understands and can deal with delayed gratification (once she eats, i'll be able to put her down on her playmat and we can have "fun play"), and he will turn the pages of the book we're reading when my hands (et al) are full with Ria. He calls her "my baby", he periodically pets her and comments on how soft she is.
He seems to understand and accept that she is going to get more fun later. the other day he commented to me that it will be a long time before Ria can walk. I said "yeah. Who's she going to chase when she can walk?" He brightened up and squealed out "ME!!!!!" He's excited for Ria to get out of the blob phase, although bored waiting for it to end. you can almost see the words in his head asking "when does the fun part start?". I think he's turning out to be a really wonderful big brother, and once she's sitting more and interacting more i think he's going to have great fun making her laugh, and then later crawling around with her and letting her chase him.
My experience....
Well, on a good day I feel like a God-Parent! I can do ANYTHING! of course, good days are defined by whether Ria naps well, whether she naps on me or in her bed, and if she is contented.
On a bad day, life sucks. Mostly in an existential way, i guess: i feel like a really crappy parent to Iain when ria is so needy that i have to ignore him a lot. Then he is obviously bored bored bored bored bored. As a "mature" 3-year old, he is OK when bored: he amuses himself, but he is obviously wishing for more fun. ...and the house becomes a severe wreck when he's bored. I haven't yet figured out how to maintain Iain's interest with projects when i 'm dealing with a time-sucking Ria. It'll only be a few more months, though, before we hit that fabled "honeymoon period", and this particular version of pain will end (to be followed by new issues, of course!). Once she hits toddlerhood I think it will be in some ways easier, as she'll eat at the same times (and at the table) with us, and she'll want outdoor play like iain does.
Luckily, we have more good days than bad days, by far. Couple that with Ria sleeping really well at night, and for the most part our 2-child parenting experience is quite good, even pleasant and fun(especially when both of us are home!).
Time to go, ria calls.
mona