25 June 2013

Summer!!!

I'm baaaack!!

Another chaotic and fabulous school year is over.  I will finally bless you with photos ;-)

Here's Iain with Ms. Prentice, his fabulous 4th grade teacher:

And Ria with her teacher (on the left) Mrs. Milos, and her aide Mrs. Gloria on Kindergarten graduation day:

And, being Ria, she has 2 more teachers, but I only caught one of the others with her, Ms. Lucy, her school OT (peeling oranges to improve hand strength and dexterity here):

The last month of school is always psychotically chaotic, but we somehow survived.  

Ria informed her teacher that she would no longer be going to the same school -- she was going to go to one that is (a) quieter and (b) has less work.  Her teacher agreed that that would be a lovely school (especially if it were in the tropics!), but that, unfortunately, all schools have noisy kids and work.  Then Ria grudgingly agreed to come to the same school next year.  Later, Ria threatened to essentially boycott her graduation ceremony, until she found out that she was going to 1st grade whether or not she participated in the party (she's concerned about the noise and work level of 1st grade), then she gave in and in the end had fun at the celebration.    She's a funny kid, that one!

Iain persists in this odd feature of "getting more mature."  I'm not quite sure what to do with it!  He is taking ownership of the areas he needs to work on, and doesn't freak out when we point them out to him.  Odd.  I had a coworker way back when who said that ages 8-10 were his favorite, and I really can't fault him in that evaluation.

Ria is now taller than Iain by 1/2", and outmasses him by 10# (he's given up being annoyed by this, as it is clear that all people consider her to be freakishly tall...thus it really says nothing about his height).  They also have completely different body shapes. He is slender, and she's built like a brick.  This picture is terrible, with slouching and perspective making her look shorter, but you can really see how differently they are built in this one.  At least, ***I*** can ;-).


We went to Santa Cruz boardwalk for William's birthday....here's Iain and I going up on the ferris wheel:

...and William and Tiger Girl as viewed from above:

OK, off to bed.  I feel more honorable now, as at least there's a few pictures here for once!

21 May 2013

Ahhhh..... The end of one era

Yo!

(Bad Mom! No pictures!.... sorry...)

Today was quite a milestone. Today Ria graduated from individual speech therapy.

[Deep Breath]

All our excitement with her started 4 years ago when she was 2.5 years old, and Iain asked "When will she talk like the other kids?" Or some similar heart rending question. That, plus not being able to run without going in zigzags and falling down every 5th step or so, and we started our journey on the Discovery of Ria. Step 1 was the initial evaluation with the speech therapists....that was even before the 1st visit with the ENT and the ear surgery. Admittedly, the actual speech therapy sessions didn't start until after the 1st set of tubes/grommets and the start of PT, but the speech evaluation came first. When we started she pretty much only had nouns. She didn't understand verbs. She had no concept what was meant by the "W questions". Jen guided us in teaching her all of that.

Its been 4 years now. At this point her functional speech skills are working. Her remaining speech problems are in pragmatic speech.... How to have a conversation. How to negotiate to play a game. How to interact with others. These are all "social speech" skills, and she's getting social skills classes both at school and privately. So we've finished with that which came first.

I know that Ria will eventually just function in the world as a slightly odd duck (quack!), and noone will even realize what she went through to get there. It's just the bit where we have to get through the development process to get her there. Rather, SHE needs to get through the process....she does the hard work, after all. We only think that we're the ones who have it hard.

One of Ria's catch phrases is: "Life is hard....but good." Today she said to me that she wished she could say "Life is fun, and good." We commiserated about how everything has ups and downs.

It felt like there should have been more fanfare.... a brass band, fireworks, a national holiday. It passed quietly, however.

Another one down. A few more to go.
I'm going to miss Jen, though.

Sleep well, all!

24 April 2013

Our Trail

I was just walking home from dropping Ria at school (go me! I WALKED!). Normally if we self-propel to school, we bike with her on the trail-a-bike, so I zoom home and don't see much of the other human trail users, but walking you get to see them all.

It was great. There's the moms coming home from dropping kids off, the young families with infants in the stroller, the high tech guys with their spandex shorts and funny biking shirts, the guys from the auto shop in their blue overalls with a bike helmet strapped over their baseball caps, just 1 spandex and silly shirt clad woman, and (my favorite) the lady biking in her dress and high heels. My mom used to bike to work in her work dress, but I don't know that she wore high heels while biking....maybe she did.

What a great town!

29 March 2013

Balls flying around

Oops!

We had some excitement a few weeks ago that I forgot to update people on!....It turns out good, I promise ;-)

A few weeks ago Ria made this odd comment at bedtime..."Dad, why does it look like there are balls flying at me?"

Parent thought process:
(1)  Hmm, odd visual artifact/experience.
(2)  Ria has progressive myopia, very near sighted, I can tell her prescription is getting worse lately as she's moving closer to the TV.
(3)  Very near sighted folks are at greater risk for retinal detachments.....which shows up as odd visual artifacts.
(4)  EEEEEEEK!!!
(5)  Let's make an ophthalmologist appointment tomorrow.....EEEEK!!!!

At the ophthalmologist office we find out that her eyes are healthy as can be.  The thing that is changing is.....
SHE IS DEVELOPING 3D VISION!!!!!

Whee!!!

Background - Ria has been wearing bifocals since she turned 3 specifically because she tends towards going crosseyed (accomodative esotropia).  Basically, the images from the 2 eyes are not perfectly overlapping, so she sees slightly double all the time, and when she really wants to focus well (while reading, usually), one eye will turn WAAAY in so that she will see only 1 set of words in front of her, making it easier to read.  In her situation, the bifocals trick her eyes into getting a reasonable overlap of the images from her eyes so she doesn't feel a need to go crosseyed so much.  The hope was, of course, that eventually her brain would figure out these overlapping (or near overlapping) images and fuse them into one 3D image.  Very often what happens instead is that the brain just learns to ignore the input from one eye and pay attention only to the other so that it doesn't experience the double vision (this is what William does, one eye is his "near things" eye, one is his "far things" eye, and the 2 never work together).

There are two 3D tests.  For both the kid puts on 3D glasses and looks at a hologram.
1st test:  If you have no 3D you see a picture of wierd blobs.  If you have weak 3D you see one image, if you have stronger 3D you see a different image.
2nd test:  There is an array of 9 sets of dots that you have to decide which one is popping out at you.  Sets 1-3 are "gimmes", since you can see which dot is different even without the glasses.  Set 4 requires only very weak 3D vision....onwards up to set 9 that requires a strong 3D vision to discern which is popping out.

In previous visits, Ria could get to #4 on the 2nd test (very very weak 3D), and on the 1st test she could tell something was kind of coming out of the page, but couldn't ever name it -- the image wasn't strong enough to be able to label.

In this visit, first she stared at the picture for a while.  She could tell something was there.  The office tech (this part of the visit is without the actual ophthalmologist) encouraged her to just "stare harder", and then she could label the 1st level image.  The office tech encouraged her more "stare right here, really hard", and she was able to label the 2nd level image!  Then they went to the dots....it took a lot of hard concentration, but she got to.....*****7*****!!!!!

So...we're guessing this new 3D vision isn't constant, its kind of going in and out little bits all day long.  And the "balls flying at my face" is some visual artifact caused by the 3D going in and out.  This also explains why she suddenly started getting carsick for the 1st time this past summer.

We went from absolutely terrified about Ria's eyes to utterly thrilled in less than 24 hours.....what a rollercoaster life is, eh?

23 March 2013

Life being happy ;-)

Looked at the blog today, and realized that I'd never posted some really cool pics of the kids that my mom took when she was here back in October.

This one is a nifty one of Iain at a climbing structure at Gilroy Gardens...I brightened it up a bit so you can see his face better.  

Here's a nice one of Iain at his walkathon, caught off guard:


And one with the both of them, again at Gilroy Gardens.  Yep, she's a weed.  Sometimes I think she'll be 7 feet tall when she's done!

Ria's aide started in the classroom in late February, and the change has been tremendous.  Ria is able to finish all her "independent" work at her desk, and her anxiety has dropped dramatically (as she no longer needs to fear the desk work) making her more participatory through the whole school day.  Her aide is also helping Ria at recess (we have a social goal in the IEP) to develop games that she can play with the other kids, so she is no longer mostly by herself on the playground - in fact, there is always a crowd with her!

Iain has been doing programming in Khan Academy online, and is having a lot of fun with it.  He even gave a talk to his class one Friday afternoon to show them how to do/learn programming in it (they use Khan Academy in the classroom), and ran a little lunch time programming session with interested kids to help them get started.  hee hee!  It is so fun to watch him start to develop away from "little kid" ;-).

Life is good -- and the sun is out!!  Happy days!

17 February 2013

Multiple Valentines of Joy!

Here's a little Valentine for you!


If you can't quite read it, the poem is:

     I'm giving you a Valentine;
     Don't put it on the shelf.
     It's one that you can hold and love;
     I'm giving you myself!

She wore it just about all day ;-).

On the morning of Valentine's Day, we had our 3rd IEP meeting for Ria, the big annual one, the one where we discuss how to meet her "intensive classroom needs."  The one where we discuss if she is able to function in the classroom without the support of a classroom aide.  (I think I failed to blog about IEP #2, which was just in December, where the district assigned Ria OT support.)

You will recall that last year's big IEP was rather disappointing, with us barely able to convince the district that they even needed to keep her on the radar.  We were put in a "wait and see" mode, where we felt we had to let her struggle in the classroom for the level of her needs to become fully apparent.

Well -- our team THIS year, now that we are actually in a class in the district, and now that the district has hired a trained "inclusion specialist" who really knows what she is doing, is AWESOME!  Ria's inclusion specialist meticulously documented how Ria's performance in the classroom was deteriorating and what was needed.  In the end, we didn't have to fight at all.  The district offered us a full time classroom assistant for Ria to support her needs!  Yep, a full time aide, handed to us on a platter!  WHEEE!  The aide will be a "group" aide, as her needs aren't so bad that it has to be 1:1, but that is fine with us, we agree fully with that.

And if that wasn't enough of a Valentine from the district, we had an email on Friday saying that they have already hired her aide (they get a week grace period), and the aide will be starting on the Monday that we get back to school after break!!

I don't think I can properly describe how wonderful I feel.  After the meeting, literally, the birds seems to sing more sweetly, the sky was bluer, and my mere existence on this earth felt more gentle and soft.

As our inclusion specialist says, the first step will be to undo the damage of the last 1/2 school year where she has been working without the support she needs.

I'm walking on sunshine....our little ray of light will get what she needs!


19 January 2013

Late Night Blatherings

William and I just finished watching a sweet movie called "Beginners"....got me in a thoughtful mood ;-)

Iain just came home from an overnight field trip to Fort Ross, which was (I think) the main southernmost Russian outpost in the early 1800's in California.

Iain left the house before Ria was awake on  Thursday morning.  On Thursday before we left for school, Ria wanted to check on Iain in his room.....then this morning (Friday) when she woke up she went straight to Iain's room to check on him, but he wasn't there.  She was sad he was gone, but OK with it.

Tonight, after a special (gluten-free) pizza and movie night, as Ria went up to bed, Iain called to her (quietly) "I love you", and Ria said "I love you" back.  It was so sweet.....Iain NEVER says "I love you" to Ria, he shows it, but doesn't say it anymore (those silly teen hormones are starting up!  Its such a cute little baby moustache!), so it was so clear that he had missed her too.

I like that my kids miss eachother.  Not all siblings like eachother, so its lovely that they do.

Gluten Free:  We're doing some "Biomedical" work with Ria -- many autistic kids have, shall we say, odd biochemistry.  The research is still working on it, its not quite figured out yet.  Her gut has clear markers as being inflamed, so we're trying to "heal" her gut, make it happy.  Inflamed guts don't absorb nutrients well, etc., etc.  Gluten and Casein irritate inflamed guts, so we're taking her temporarily (6-12 months) off gluten and casein to help her heal up.  The goal is to reduce sound sensitivities and, hopefully, get her off the Miralax she's been on since 10 months old.

18 January 2013

Cold.

I had to buy an ice scraper for my car.

Yep.  We've had the car for almost 9 years, and this is the first time I've needed an ice scraper.  Admittedly, pre-elementary-school-children I wasn't usually up so early, but still....

07 January 2013

I wish I could show you....

I wish I could show you how cute the kids are right now.  Ria is working on a Highlights Top Secret kit that she got from a classmate, and Iain is helping her.  They are very cute.  But I don't get to show you because, as usual, they are clad in nothing but their underwear.

25 December 2012

Happy Christmas!

On Christmas Eve, we ALL got new jammies!!!!
Ria wanted footies, Iain got penguins, Daddy got a new nightshirt, and I look like Lucia with my fancy stitching ;-)
We're a jammie loving family!


...And now it's Christmas Day, and Iain and Ria are lounging in the RUF (Ria's Ultimate Fort), which was built from the RUFK (Ria's Ultimate Fort Kit).  Ria's too busy reading one of her fabulous new books to bother looking up from her side pod of the RUF.


Life is good.

23 December 2012

Baking

Happy Christmas!  Or whatever you like to celebrate for the end of the year season ;-).

Here, we're making mince pies, as Daddy needs them for a proper Christmas.  Ria did much of the work:


We kinda overfilled them though!


We're looking forward to lolling around and getting not much of anything done for a few weeks.

07 November 2012

Elections!

Off to bed....

Obama won!!!  Whee!!!

Waiting on Prop 30 (California)....too close to call yet.  We need it to pass.

Very disappointed that the repeal of the death penalty is not passing, but at least the 3 strikes law is being amended.

Oh, what a crazy system we have here in California with our amendments.....S L EE EE EE EE PY.

29 October 2012

9-year old 4th grade boys

When Iain was in 1st grade, I ended up doing babysitting for classroom meetings for a 4th grade class.  The 4th grade boys terrified me.  They freaked me out.  They were out of control, I felt, from my 1st grader viewpoint.

When I talked to other parents, they told me about how in 4th grade, when their boys were 9, suddenly they CHANGED.  They wondered where their sweet little boy went.

I've been a little worried about this whole 9 year old 4th grade boy thing.

So far, though....I LOVE the whole 9 year old 4th grade boy thing!  He understands delayed gratification!  I ask him if he has homework, he says he does. I ask when he's planning to do it, he says "after dinner".  Then, after dinner, he does his homework.  That's it....no pushing, no 45 minute whine-a-thon.  He just does it.

Yeah, he's a bit more moody.  He's more annoying in how he deals with Ria when he's in "that place."  But......I can explain to him how Ria receives his words, and he compensates.  He changes his words to Ria so she can understand.  I don't have to do much more than a few sentances (most times) to get him on track.

It is SO COOL.

I know there's a lot more 4th grade to go, but I no longer fear 4th grade boys.  I think they're great ;-).

19 October 2012

Another SERIOUSLY cute school picture!

And here's Iain's 4th grade picture...WHAT a CUTIE!....oops, I'm supposed to call him "handsome" now.  He's that too ;-).  He's 9 now.


10 October 2012

Ria's Kindergarten picture!

Good morning!

School picture #1 is in!  Doesn't she look mature ;-)
AND she's 6!!!

Iain's school had their picture taken 4 days later than Ria's....so I'll probably have his up next week.


12 September 2012

The story of Ria the Towel

Ria told me this story on the beach at Christian Island this summer:

The Story of Ria the Towel

All right.

There was a towel named Ria, and she was dry, not wet.  And one day Ria got used as an real towel.  And she said, "I'm not an real towel, I want to be dry!"  And...She liked to be dry, and she ran away.  And the person said, "Oh, I'll use another towel."  Then she sneaked up behind another towel who was ?happily? being dry, but it was just real.  THE END!

(pardon the video quality of the video - it was above the limit so I had to shrink it....the audio quality didn't change)

And here's 2 happy kids on our way home from vacation....i'll post some vacation too, I'm sure ;-)  But this post has been in the works for a while (what with the video conversion!), so I ought just get it done!


28 August 2012

Evenings....odd.

So, for the last 6 or so months, 6 nights a week, my evening activity for once the kids have gone to bed is to do 45 minutes of physio (I've allowed myself 1 day off physio a week).  I've been trying to regain control of my errant hips, while maintaining the knees and shoulder.

Starting last week with the start of school, I've been trying to do my physio 1st thing after dropping the kids at school, so that my evenings aren't so darn annoying.

Strangely enough, after 6 months of doing nothing but physio in the evenings, I'm a bit at a loss for what to do after the kids go to bed!  Falling asleep early, doing puzzles, and watching movies have filled the time nicely, but it feels WEIRD.

23 August 2012

School Daze!

School has started....with a Kindergarten girl and a 4th grade boy!



The first 2 days of school Ria ended the day kind of out of sorts, although the teacher said she had great days both days.  Today, day #3, when I picked her up she was RADIANT.  Her smile went from ear to ear.  She was "line leader", and was so proud that when another girl had thought she was line leader, Ria "used her words."  She was on top of the world....and it seems to be going well ;-).  YAY!

Iain, being a typical almost 9 year old, gives me very few nuggets of data, but he does like his new teacher, and he seems pretty happy in class, even though his best friend is in another class.  (We did a bit of pre-thinking, and Iain wrapped his brain around how recess is the only thing that really matters for hanging with friends, so that went better than we expected!)

23 July 2012

End of school, start of summer ;-)

Spring has sprung, and summer is in full swing!  I thought I'd confuse y'all by posting something.

My children commenting, surely, on something I said:
That was at the local glasses lab - as in, where the guys grind you new lenses for 1/2 the cost that it costs from the regular shop, what with them being the lab and all.  Nice place to have found since Ria's prescriptions are kinda going wacky.  Progressing a bit too fast for anyone's comfort, but nothing much we can do about it.  At this point we're planning to update her lenses 2x/year.  We'll be seeing the opthamologist again in October.  The main concern with progressive myopia is that it can be a sign of juvenile onset diabetes, but Ria shows no signs of diabetes (or the other rare conditions it can come with).  She just has bad eyesight in her genes, we think.

Here's Ria at her preschool graduation ceremony!  Kindergarten in the fall!!
She is, as I think I mentioned in an earlier post, going to be going to the local regular elementary school for Kindergarten, rather than the parent participation program that Iain is in (yep, I'll be shuttling kids to 2 different schools, in the land of no school buses).  We tried her for an hour in Iain's school, and it was just way too distracting for her.  It was clear that a more traditional classroom would work better for her.  She's got an IEP, but its the most minimal IEP known to mankind.  No aide or anything.  We'll see how it goes.  However, she's made a HUGE amount of progress in the last year with her aide at preschool, and in the last 4 months we've had 2 sort of cognitive growth spurts that make us hopeful that the jump in class size (12 in preschool, 25 in Kindergarten) won't blow up in our faces.  She is really doing great!  She's even starting to take herself to the toilet periodically (outside of the scheduled sitting pattern we have her on) as she can sometimes feel she needs to go, so the sensations are improving down there and we're having very few accidents!

Iain has gone the way of "mom's jaw, dad's teeth."  Here's his new palate expander, which should be in for about 9 months or so before we get the actual braces to move things into place.
This spring style expander is a lot more gentle than the old "turn a key" thing, but has to be used at a younger age.  If you need to expand the palate at the more typical braces age in the early teens, you still get the key style.  The teeth that came in during the winter are kinda sideways, and they pushed one of his front teeth  out forward quite a bit so its at risk for being cracked if he falls on his face.  *sigh*.  (Ria only has 2 of her "big" front teeth, and they're already worse than Iain's crooked teeth....it is TOUGH to keep those snaggle teeth clean!!!)

Big excitement of 2 weeks ago....Iain jumped off a diving board at swim lessons for the first time!  Here he is in mid-air!

And here's Ria swimming with a noodle

Finally, the big excitement of LAST week was that Iain went to a week-long overnight camp!  This was lovely YMCA Camp Campbell again, where he did the mini-camp last year.  This picture is when we dropped him off (Ria was far more disconcerted than Iain!).
Apparently he had a bad bout of homesickness on Tuesday (after 2 nights, which was how long the mini camp was last year), but doing some archery fixed his mood, and he was fine for the rest of the week.  He's home now and everything feels back to normal (messier and noisier).

20 April 2012

Ahhh....the California life

Late April is lovely.

The wisteria is blooming and the bumblebees buzz ferociously overhead - dozens of them.  The oranges have been picked, and the new blossoms are smelling fragrant.

This is my view from the hanging chair....quietly enjoying a few minutes until the alarm goes off and I need to go pick up some kids.

Ahhhh!

17 April 2012

Insurance paperwork day

This is what my "insurance paperwork day" looks like.  


Don't you wish YOU were participating in this fun?

You people living in countries with reasonable health care systems can just breathe a sigh of relief that YOU don't "get" to spend 3 hours doing this, pretty much ever.  This is just sorting the responses from insurance....then I get to log them on the spreadsheet and email the guy at XXX/Google.

A small handful of checks to deposit, though!!!

10 April 2012

Hard to believe she's my kid

Ria went to the pediatrician yesterday....48.75 inches at age 5.5.  Instead of hovering around the 97th percentile line on the growth chart, she is now flying way above it.  This is, mind you, 0.25 inches shorter than Iain was on his ***8th*** birthday.  They even measured her height a 2nd time, figuring they had it wrong.

She had a growth spurt in the last 2-3 weeks.  She grew at least one full inch...I know because I had just recently measured her against my body, and now she's at least an inch higher than she was last month.

Clearly she takes after William, not me!


07 April 2012

*Phew* / Happy swinging girl!

Happy Swinging Girl!!


Oh, wow, here we are!

Ria's IEP is signed off, we're all set.

We even this week got a "504 plan" set up and signed off for Iain.  That's secret speak for "modifications to the classroom for a child's disability".  Might be a wheelchair ramp.  In our case its reducing homework when the practice isn't necessary (math), allowing work to be taken home (writing projects), ignoring misbehaviour in the classroom when it isn't really a big deal.

We also did Ria's tester day in a Kinder classroom in Iain's school to see how it would go.  Wow, was she distracted.  All I could think was how if she had a controlled little area, her own desk, she'd be able to focus on what the teacher said so much easier....she was just soooooo distracted by everything going on around her.  When we toured the "typical" school, I was a bit disturbed by the Kindergarten kids all sitting at their desks.....but that would be just Fabulous for Ria.  Just the ticket.  So we officially switched her registration to be in the normal neighborhood school.  She won't be in Iain's school in the fall.  She took it really well, actually.  She is very aware how she likes a calm and quiet place....and the neighborhood school will be much calmer.

IEP.  504.  School officially chosen.  Whew.  what a week.

;-)

There's always a tinge of fear and sorrow:  Will the world be gentle to her?  Will people recognize her exuberance, hidden behind the book in her hands?  Will they dance with her when she dances in joy?  But she's lovable...she's sweet and kind.  So I expect people will always be disposed to take the time to really hear what she has to say, and once they do that, she will always win them over.  She's a nifty kid.  Smart.  Funny.  Kind.  You just have to be willing to move more slowly, at her pace, and then you will hear her.

This is going to be the last big transition for her for many years.....by the time she transitions again (out of elementary school), we'll know much more how she'll turn out.  I know she'll be kicking ass....she's a stubborn little (big!) thing....I just sometimes wonder how we'll get there.

(William had me listen to lovely songs that made me cry tonight, so I'm a bit melancholy....)

02 April 2012

Half a Brain

William and I have a joke from waaaaaaay back....that we share half a brain.

Mind you, this is of the 1.5 brains total for the marriage calculation, not the alternative of 0.5 brains total.

Tonight, while fixing the wooden towel rail that Ria broke, we were listening to some music.
Mona:  "This is the guy who starts with a 'G', right?"
William:  [not too terribly long pause], "No, it's his brother."

Hence, half a brain.

B.t.w., Garnet Rogers v.s. Stan Rogers, the song was "Three Fishers."

(Similar conversations occur with books... William says it's most often for "The Venus Equilateral" by George O. Smith, which gets described as "The book with the light blue cover with the thingy on it and both me and my dad like it."  Apparently I forget that one rather often.)

18 March 2012

just some cute pictures!

Hi everyone!

I've been so wordy, so have some cute kid pictures!  1st, Iain slurping down a mango lassi, the worlds best drink, in his mind!  Soccer (aka football) is on the screen.

 And here's Ria, enjoying a good read!


see you!

12 March 2012

Contemplations

We're in a phase of contemplations for Ria, again.  As usual.

Iain is at a fabulous "choice" school in our public school system...parent participation, developmentally focused, etc., etc.  We have been excited about the idea of Ria being at school with Iain for months, years!

So....since finishing the IEP excitement, we've been thinking about actual Kindergarten, and realizing that Iain's school might not be the ideal place for Ria.  There is just so much stuff going on in the classroom at Iain's school, and with Ria's tendency to lose focus in noisy/exciting environments, that might just not work for her.  So, we're considering whether the regular, normal, neighborhood school might be better for her.

I've been feeling pretty odd about this idea that it might be better for her at the regular school.  Tonight, William realized that my odd feelings are stemming from the fact that, if we figure that the neighborhood school would be better for Ria, it will be the first time that the right thing for my kids will be the thing that is EASIER FOR ME.

How very odd.  Good for the kids, AND easier for me.  Is that allowed?

We're not fully decided.  We're scheduling visits for Ria at both schools so we and the teachers can watch her in the 2 environments and compare and contrast.  However, we're thinking its more likely she'll be at the neighborhood school.

02 March 2012

*Phew*!!! What a relief.

What a lovely day.....have a picture!  This is Ria's Valentines picture from her Social Thinking class....just too darn cute!

So, we had the initial IEP meeting on Wednesday.  This is the one where they decide if she's a difficult enough case to spend any time on, if she gets services, if she gets put in a special classroom, if she speaks well enough, everything, just everything.  We've been a bit spazzy this last few weeks, months.

It ended up GREAT!  Not the ideal I'd hoped for, but definitely, I think, the best we could have managed.  Ria qualified for an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) under the autism clause, and was determined to be able to benefit from being schooled in a "general education classroom".  I.e., no "special day class" (SDC), which is what we all think of as a special education classroom from our childhoods, and no "inclusion classroom" which is kind of higher performing SDC (not sure if California terms them "inclusion classrooms", but other states do).  We were worried a bit about that, since Ria's ability to focus declines precipitously when a room gets noisy/lively, even in her 11 child preschool.  Based on reading the reports, we felt like we would either not get an IEP at all, or they'd swing way the other way and want to stick her in an SDC.

Admittedly, we only got the IEP by the skin of our teeth.  Ria was too borderline to clearly match the federal definition of who MUST be given special education services, so even though we all agreed on her strengths and weaknesses, she couldn't be definitively given an IEP.  They didn't even come to the meeting with draft IEP goals, which says a lot.  The director of special education was at the meeting, and she basically had to make the call at the meeting based on what we were discussing.  Luckliy, through working with the IEP advocate, we had developed a better understanding of the very basic minimum meaning of having an IEP, which is having a child who needs to be tracked against goals that are different from what the general population need to be tracked against.  Notice the lack of the word "services" in that definition.  We pushed on the "how are we going to track her progress", and "how will we measure if she is not progressing and needs more assistance" type of questions, and apparently that really resonated with the director of special ed.  Initially she's going to be assigned to one of the autism inclusion specialist for our district, who will work with the teacher to set up techniques to work with Ria, and will be in the classroom 30 minutes a month to take metrics (to measure progress against goals) and fine tune classroom approaches.

You've come so far!  Have a picture!  This one was taken by Alastair and Bev when they bravely took 3 kids, on their own, to a place they'd never been before back in January.  This is Ria, Rowan, and Iain having fun with bubbles at the Children's Discovery Museum.

The next step is to talk to the teachers at Iain's school to decide how to best place her.  The district wants her at a typical school (Iain's school is a parent participation school that is project based...a FABULOUS school, but with a tendency towards more movement and chaos, since there's often 2 or 3 different groups working on different things in the room.) and advises against Iain's school....but then they advise EVERYONE who is slightly atypical to avoid that school, so I take their advice there with a grain of salt.  We're going to see if the calmest of our 3 classrooms, possibly with a reduced day length (Kindergarten is "full day" here), would be sufficient for her.  If the teachers at Iain's school feel strongly that Ria wouldn't do well there, then we will put her in the regular school for our neighborhood-- which is also a great school, just not Iain's school.

So, we're still waiting for the draft IEP to review and comment on, but once we've done that, and decided about the placement for next year, then we are DONE with this issue until school starts in the fall!  Whee!

I cannot describe how much more relaxed I feel now that this horrific part of the process has been done.  They've been convinced, not only that Ria needs help, but also that she is WAY too close to "typical" to be stuck in a special classroom.  They see how smart she is, and her huge potential (and as is typical for her, she's charmed the socks off them all!).

We'll let you know how the school decision goes ;-).

28 February 2012

"The Baldness Returns", coming soon to a blog near you!

In the midst of our IEP preparations, William is preparing for something else too.....to go bald once again to support research towards childhood cancers.

See his blog HERE.

See what he looked like last year in my blog post HERE.

12 February 2012

An Insurance Victory!

We just received a check from insurance for, among other things, Ria's individual speech therapy for 2/17/11 and 2/24/11, and her *dyad* speech therapy for 2/17/11 and 2/24/11.

VICTORY!!!

I sent these in in July.
They were denied. The dyad sessions were denied "because we don't cover group speech codes", and the individual was denied "because it occured on the same date as those other speech sessions".

My insurance saviour at Google sent them back in January saying "pay them".

Jan 24: the 2/24 dates are denied "because this person doesn't have insurance with XXXX, send it to your real carrier".

Jan 31: the 2/17 dates are denied "because they are duplicates and we already finalized this one"

Feb 2: The 2/24 dates are denied for the original reasons "we don't do dyads" and "this was on the same date as another speech code, so its not covered".

Feb 3: ALL 4 SESSIONS, both the 2/17 and 2/24 dates, are denied AGAIN, because the claims are duplicates.

[Right about here we get the letter from 1/24 saying Ria has no insurance with XXX, and we fax the amusement on to our insurance saviour at Google.]

Feb 4: ALL 4 SESSIONS, are now magically approved. paid in full. ;-)

Today, we got the check.

Heh. You take THAT [unnamed insurance company]!!!

11 February 2012

Did you miss me? and IEPs.

So, it must be easy to tell when our life is crazy, as I don't post anything, eh?

I keep thinking, "surely at least one of these areas will come to some sort of neat conclusion soon, and I'll post about it then!", but then nothing comes to conclusion.  And my progress on pictures is, erm, non-progressing.

Have a picture!  this is from our spring 2011 visit to New Hampshire, while William was still mostly bald-ish.  Ria had a bad haircut.  She HATED being mistaken for a boy.


One of the areas of our current saga is starting to work with the local school district to determine what services they might provide for Ria next year when she enters Kindergarten.  "Services" = "special education services", which is now called an IEP, or Individualized Education Plan.  We started the process to get Ria evaluated to determine if she qualifies for an IEP late last year, and since then we've been getting reports from all our therapy providers to give to the school district to guide them, and the district has been doing a bunch of testing/evaluations of Ria on their own, to determine how her "challenges" (how do you like THAT euphemism!?  Get used to it.) might impact her ability to learn in a school setting.  Filter this all through the "California schools have no money since the state keeps stealing the school money" issue, and it's clear that there is a conflict between the needs of the kids, and the money available to meet those needs.

You've made it through another paragraph!  Have a picture!  This is from the same trip out east last spring, from our visit with Mormor and Grandpa Henry.


The testing process for Ria's IEP is done, now it's just a 3 week wait until the official meeting on 2/29.

It's been a bit of an emotional roller-coaster process. The 1st date of school testing, back in January, seemed to test 100% to Ria's strengths.  She performed fabulously on the tests, so much so that the school psychologist was using careful words to prepare me for Ria not qualifying for an IEP.  The 2nd date of testing the speech therapist pulled the test that she expected would be the most likely to make Ria "fail" (i.e., qualify for an IEP), and we thought she had failed it, but when the test was scored, she squeaked past, so no qualification based on speech skills (I guess 2 3/4 years of speech therapy has been helping!!).  Then there  were various parent questionnaires, and 2 observations of Ria at her school, one by someone from the Autism group and one by the school psychologist.  Both of the observations seemed to run "short", by mine and the teacher's thoughts. We were all really concerned that they'd not stayed long enough to see Ria have to do something she REALLY struggled at. So, at this point, I'm freaking out that they aren't seeing what we see, that they're going to blow us off, etc., etc., which was in conflict from the very supportive feeling I was getting when I met with them in person.  But then, luckily, someone had told me I should request to receive the reports/test results prior to the actual IEP meeting. I did that, and though I won't get some of them until a few days before the meeting, the school psychologist passed her draft on to me to review for factual errors. I reviewed it yesterday and was just thrilled....the things she noticed and noted down from the school observation were just spot on. She described Ria to a "T". Even though she only saw Ria performing less stressful/hard academic tasks, she still saw clearly how Ria responds. Basically, even though she left earlier than we had expected, she had seen all she needed to see ;-).

So, as of yesterday, my stress level and concerns have plummeted, and I feel relatively positive again about the IEP meeting coming up.

I'm still going to get what is called an advocate, someone who is specialized in special education law to be your personal expert. I've re-realized that I function best if I have maximum data, maximum information, maximum expertise...otherwise I collapse in a puddle of stressed out goo. Hopefully we'll never need to bring the advocate to an IEP meeting, I'd like to avoid the conflict approach.  However, I need someone to help me understand if my expectations are reasonable, where is the line between what the school is supposed to help with and what we do with medical insurance.  I just don't know the lay of the land in this area, and it's stressing me to death. So, we'll hire an expert, to help in the sanity area.

The reports we got from OUR providers to support the IEP process were great. The speech one was especially interesting. Since Ria had crossed over the 5 years old boundary, new tests were available for her. Based on her progress on the old testing we had been thinking we might be able to graduate her from individual speech therapy this year, but the new testing showed some fabulously interesting discrepancies in Ria's skills. Some tests she performed at the 83rd %ile, age equivalency of 9 yrs 11 months, others she was less then the 1st %ile. It's redirected her speech therapy into focusing on different skills. We'll be continuing with them for another few years ;-).

Oh, I could go on and on about the IEP stuff, but I'll stop there.

Here, have a picture!! This is from Julia, Will, Duncan & Toby's visit in July....a short escape from the earthquake insanity that is their home in Christchurch, NZ.


In addition to the many many many (many many) layers of the Ria saga, I've been trying to reclaim my body from the abyss it seems to have fallen into in the last few years of chaos.  There's, of course, the requisite 5 MORE pounds that have shown up since I turned 40 a few years ago.  In addition, however, my hips have returned to their post-childbirth chaos, and I have this vertebra that went AWOL during our visit to England over the summer, and which I can't seem to regain control of.

Have a picture for making it this far! This is from our visit to England last summer.  Grandmother, us, and Alastair, Bev, and Rowan spent most of a week in the Lake District.


I can sometimes put my own hip back in place with my old physio exercises, but it's not reliable enough that I can give up the chiropractor visits. The one vertebra in my back is being tricky too.  I've had to up my commitment to my physio exercises....I do them 6-7 days a week, 30-45 minutes a day. I've had to add in the core strengthening exercises.  That plus trying to actually do cardio/fat burning exercise.  The weight isn't coming off, but at least the joints are doing better ;-). It just takes so much TIME. I don't get to spend my evenings doing little projects on the couch (like blogging!), I spend them doing therapy. It's frustrating, but I guess that's what I get for ignoring my body for 2 years.

Insurance is making progress, very very slow progress, but that's whole other rant/story.

15 October 2011

Reading time....

3 out of 4 family members can't be wrong....I'd best get a book and join them, eh?

05 September 2011

Whew! 1st days of school!

Hi!

We're back!  School is started, and all is WONDERFUL!

This week is photo time for Mona-free-time.  The increased amout of time for me alone is working out fabulously....I FEEL GREAT!!!  I have lots of energy to do stuff with the kids after school, and i get things done in the morning, and I'm even managing to get started on a bit of exercising and doing my physio exercises!

WOOT!

Some 1st day of school photos for you ;-).  3rd grade for Iain and Pre-K for Ria.

Things/therapy are going amazingly well.  I'll update you later.  Bedtime!




14 July 2011

CAMP!

Iain is, for the first time, at an overnight camp!
It's the YMCA's "mini-camp", so he's only there for 2 nights so its not so long and scary, just EXCITING!

He's in the newly built "tree top cabins"....and here he is in his bunk!


here's a combo shot from the front walkways....Iain's cabin is the one on the far left.  Please ignore the unknown children on their way home!  There should be a big version if you click on the image.  There 5 or 6 cabins built on stilts and connected with walkways

and here's a shot from below

He'll be home Friday afternoon....WHEE!

A year late: September 2010: Marble Maze!

Ok, not QUITE a year late...
Iain got a massive battery powered marble maze kit for his 7th birthday last year.  And here it is!


And a video of it in action!


04 July 2011

*sigh*

I'm finally tackling the pile of medical statements and reimbursements that sit on my desk screaming at me to be dealt with.  One small little pile for William.  Another small one for Iain.  Another small one for me.  And 4 big bulky stacks for Ria.  I stare at those 4 stacks and just want to cry, sometimes.  Why does such a sweet little (OK, big.  tall.  certainly not taking after her midget mom ;-) girl have to have 4 stacks?  The appointments are just endless.  Admittedly, the ridiculous schedule of appointments we've taken on since her diagnosis has really been paying back with a lot of progress for her, so we're doing the right thing.  I want to just give her a summer at the beach, one day.  Listless never ending days.  Boredom with a pile of books up a tree.  No appointments, just swim lessons and sand castles.

Someday.

28 June 2011

A few pictures

Hi:  a few pics:

Iain and I making fused glass projects last week....next week we get them back!


Here's Iain on his last day of 2nd grade with Mrs. Ross:

Iain and Ria

Ria on Adventure day a few months ago:

Ria at her school last month, doing her favorite thing:

21 June 2011

It's here!

Ah....summer has arrived....EEK! 92 degrees!

I have to put Ria to bed with her anti-hot-water-bottle, a.k.a. a huge ice pack wrapped in a towel and a pillowcase, in order for her to fall asleep in her hot room. She looks so cute desperately clutching her ice pack!

05 June 2011

NZ family is home

Our NZ family have moved back home!

WOOT!

Welcome home, Julia et al.

WHERE IS MY SUMMER?!?!

I would just like to know where my summer is.

This is California, for Heaven's sake! Summer starts the 3rd week of May. It gets hot for a week in late April. We all turn off the heat expectantly. Then it goes cold again and most of us turn the heat back on for the 1st half of May. Then it goes hot.

But it's June. And it is NOT hot. The heat is still on and it cycles on every morning at 7 am. GRRR.

We have low to mid 60's (F). Eva in NH is having mid to upper 70's. Same for Mormor in RI. Morfar is upper 70's to 80's in Chicago. Us, we're stuck in April weather. RAIN even! We're not supposed to rain from mid April until October! It RAINED today!

Me.
Want.
Summer.

All is well. If busy. The "year of Ria" is just a few months from being over. You don't know about "the year of Ria", because it is a busy year with no time for anything but the Ria saga (she is well, just busy), certainly no time to update the blog. The year of Ria is over starting August 25. You'll get 2 years of update at that time. Then comes the "year of Mona". That involves napping, reading, massages, going to the gym, and digging out of a lot of piles of paper.

Wish us warmth.

17 March 2011

"Your head is all bald."

That's what Ria said to William today, "Your head is all bald."
And it is!
For those not in the know, W just did a fundraiser for St. Baldricks, a charity that raises money for research into children's cancers.
His blog post on it is:
http://fairly-accurate.livejournal.com
And his St. Baldrick's participant page is:
http://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/mypage/participantid/416919

And here's my favorite: exploding bald head picture!



20 February 2011

Autism Spectrum R Us

This picture is from Ria's EXTREME haircut in December.....we've had another extreme haircut this month (February), but I haven't a picture of it yet. The December one was cute as a button, but got into her eyes/food/books too much, so it had to go....

Yo.

I've been avoiding posting on the blog (and I was supposed to buffer this blog post with picture filled blog posts before and after, but I just didn't manage it) since we've been on a bit of a journey in the last 5 months in the "figuring Ria out" area of life. So, here's what's up.

We started the dyad speech therapy (2 girls, working on how to do social interactions) in March, or maybe May, last year. That helped a lot, but by the end of the summer we just knew that the ear thing had been a bit of a red herring. The ears WERE a real problem, but they had been masking something. Ria just kept seeming more and more different from the other kids at school.

So, in late August/September we started trying to get set up with an Occupational Therapist evaluation (to look into the continued balance/coordination issues), and a Developmental Pediatrician evaluation (to go over her whole history, do evaluations, and let us know what exactly is making Ria just not seem to develop similarly to the other kids). We got the OT eval quickly, and started in on OT appointments rather quickly, but we had a 3 month wait (early December) to get the Developmental Pediatrician appt.

In Dec, based on the inital questionaires, the Dev. Ped. said we needed to look into possible Autism Spectrum involvement into Ria's problems. We got an appt to do an assessment in early January, and our appt to go over the results was for Feb 10.

We had our Developmental Pediatrician appt to go over Ria's assessment results, and Ria IS on the Autism Spectrum. Her diagnosis is "PDD-NOS", which is "pervasive developmental disorder - not otherwise specified". It is the catch-all bucket for the Autism Spectrum. It is one of the "milder" diagnoses, along with Aspergers, but you can be more or less mild within the diagnosis. It has fewer symptoms than an Autism diagnosis, but the severity of the individual symptoms could be worse than for someone with an Autism diagnosis.....it's all quite squishy.

Our "choices" in her diagnosis was whether to define her problems as "Developmental coordination disorder", which can have social isolation impacts due to speech and gross motor problems, or whether to classify her as "PDD-NOS" which comes with speech and gross motor problems. In the end, the Dev. Ped. decided that Ria's social problems trumped her gross motor problems, so PDD-NOS was the more likely "owner" of her problem. There was more to it than that, of course, but that's how she got where we ended basically. In retrospect, it seems clear that this is who she is, but it was tough hearing it in words.

PDD-NOS is, obviously, different from Aspergers. Aspergers doesn't have any speech implications, except within the use of speech in a social situation which is more due to social understanding issues. PDD-NOS has a heavy speech component. Ria's testing showed much more imaginative play skills than Iain did, so in that area she is less impacted than Iain, but her speech skills make her social deficits (problems) more acute. She also "goes into her own world" in a way that Iain has never done. "Severity" kinda goes with "age diagnosed" in these things (in my mind). Iain was diagnosed in Kindergarten, age 5.5, Ria in preschool, age 4.25, so her situation is more severe than Iain's by that metric.

In the great scheme of things, it changes nothing we're doing with Ria. We already have all her needs implemented in therapy. 1 OT (occupational therapy) per week, plus 3 speech-type therapies per week (1 regular individual speech session, 1 "dyad" speech session with another little girl to work on HOW to talk socially and play with someone else, and 1 social skills class (like the one Iain has) to help build social understanding...the social skills class is technically a group speech session). Our ongoing quest for potty training (she is doing so much better, but still doesn't initiate trips to the toilet) is going to be met with some short term behavioural therapy to help us find new ways to motivate her, as people on the spectrum generally don't respond well to
"extrinsic motivators" (sticker charts, M&M's, etc.). That behavioural therapy won't be a "keeper" in our schedule, just a short term boost to help 1 problem area.

[update from the original email that this is hacked from....we are likely to go into something called "PRT", or "Pivotal Response Therapy", which is based on ABA (applied behavioural analysis), which is a key therapy for people with Autism. PRT is supposed to help with communication issues, which is our area. I'll tell you more later, once we have gotten some phone calls back.]

I think you all know, but just in case: We're putting off Kindergarten 1 year for Ria, and have her enrolled next year in a young-5's pre-K program that is 5 days/week. They have only 12 kids in the class, and 2 teachers. They are very interested in helping implement any recommendations from ria's therapists, so we should be very well set up for next year.

The addition of the OT in September is starting to have some real impacts. People are starting to comment to us how Ria is talking to them more. She chatters more, and has become a climbing fiend at the park. she can climb the climbing walls without us having to tell her where to put her
hands and feet, she can figure it out herself. She can also (FINALLY!) jump like a champ!

So...
This wasn't so much a shocker result (OK, I was a little shocked in December when she said we needed to test for Austism Spectrum disorders, i was expecting only DCD, developmental coordination disorder, but we've had 2 months since then, so we'd acclimated already), as a final answer as to why it was that fixing the ears didn't fix everything. It is a lovely pointer to say that we're already doing everything reasonable (there's a few other options, behavioural therapies we could consider implementing at home, but that isn't clearly called for at her milder end of the diagnosis) for her, which is what really matters. [Update: yeah, it's called for considering her particular symptoms.]

She is lovely and happy and wonderful as always. She runs screaming around the house with Iain and insists she's not ready for bedtime, just like every other kid. We're implementing this all in a nicely early time frame, so by the time she's in Kindergarten next year fall she should have a lot of strong compensating skills to keep things on a nice even keel, just how her brother is on a fabulously nice even keel nowadays.

15 November 2010

Butts.

(yes, yes, i owe you all pictures....*sigh*)

Last night we had dinner with one of W's friends from Canada, and apparently at some point in time Ria walked behind him for a bit. When we got back home Ria grinned up at him and said....."I saw your butt, " with some apparent glee....